- Stay Connected
Socialize
Local Man ‘Crippled with Fear’ After String of Increasingly Specific Fortune Cookies
Packard, OH— After eating at the local Panda Express three times a day for the last twenty days, Packard High School sophomore Craig Anderson has gained a significant amount of…
Oh the Things You Will Hear in the Hallway
Tidbits of conversations are hardly ever in context, but have always made me wonder what is wrong with humanity. Clearly, a lot. As one girl was talking to her friend…
Hogwarts Removes Early Decision: Students Up in Wands
Platform 9 and ¾ , London— In the most controversial Wizard school decision since McGonagall V. Madison, Dumbledore has posthumously decided to remove Hogwarts Early Decision program. Some have used…
Candidates Move To Capture Critical Amish Swing Vote
With only days left until the election, Obama and McCain are scrambling to get the last minute independent voters. The large Amish vote has been a hard audience to pander…
Area Teen Doesn’t Have a Single Photo Where She’s Not Posing with a Peace Sign
GLENCOE, IL— Rebecca Myers, a sophomore at New Trier High School, was found to have had no photos of her where she wasn’t posing with a peace sign last week.…