By Bobby Prinkus

DEERFIELD, IL—Almost a daily occurrence, some girl’s locker will be decorated with cute accessories and inside jokes. When asked why this phenomenon occurred, junior Bari Kanefsky responded, “I mean come on. If we don’t, like, decorate our friend’s locker, then she won’t, like, think we, like, like her.”

A school wide poll conducted by the research department of The Flipside revealed that with the advent of Facebook, 98% of girls believe that there is no excuse for not having there locker decorated on their birthday. The other 2% believe lockers should be decorated on half birthdays as well.

Also discovered in our in-depth, MLA cited research was the tragic story of one Cara Franklin. Cara’s birthday fell on a Sunday. However, her locker lay undecorated when she arrived at school at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Cara knew that because her friends did not decorate her locker, they clearly did not care about her.

She promptly picked new, more responsible locker-decorating friends and was treated to a life-sized lego statue of herself outside of her locker on her next birthday.

Cara sums it up best when she says, “Now I know how much my friends like me. They like me one life-sized lego statue, three snickers, four letters, plus three exclamation points, and twenty balloons.”

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