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What I am Thankful For: A Pessimist’s Perspective
I am thankful for everything. Just everything. Everything is wonderful. How can we not be thankful for the economy? It is going just great! I cannot wait to spoil my…
What I am Thankful For: A Turkey’s Perspective
I just have so many things to be thankful for around Thanksgiving time. First, I am thankful for the mass slaughter of my brethren and sisteren so you filthy humans…
What I am Thankful For: An Optimist’s Perspective
The birds and the bees and the bubblegum trees… I am thankful for the world, which is as sugary and yummy as the big rock candy mountain. My Thanksgiving cup…
I Hope These Articles Are Short Enough For My Readers, Whose Attention Spans Are So Little That They Probably Couldn’t Focus Long Enough To Read The Title of This Article
I really doubt people will even be patient enough to read this article! The headline is longer than the text, for goodness sake. I don’t understand how people can’t find…
No Problem, Man
Really, don’t worry about it man. My old man puts the cashola on my card. Don’t sweat it, broski. I’ll probably just tell my madre that I need fifty more…
My Bad, Dude
I’m really sorry dude. I really am. I thought for sure you were done with those nugs. I know how tasty those fat filled, deep fried, chicken nuggets were. I…