29
July , 2010
Thursday

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Looc, Look! I Found a Typo!!
Baseball Players Excited For Spring Break, Rained Out Games
Barry Bonds Tests Positive for Spinach
Aging ‘85 Bears Do the Super Bowl Shuffleboard
Ask Mr. Motzko: Would You Rather
Where Did You Want To Go To College?
New Study Links Poor Diet and Exercise with Obesity
Local Man Receives Call From the Future
Mathlete Pulls Muscle, Team Devastated
Valentine’s Day Massacre Shrugged Off as “Hallmark Massacre”

BP Executives Develop Plan to Save Oil, Maybe Animals

By George Minkowski “Boom” went the oilrig 40 miles off the coast of Louisiana on April 20, 2010. “Uh-oh” went the United States Coast Guard two days after the explosion when they noticed crude oil leaking from the rig at a ...
BP Executives Develop Plan to Save Oil, Maybe Animals

Movie Critic Uncomfortable Being Only Adult in Movie Theater

By Gunter Hausman NEW YORK CITY— Roger Lumenick, film critic from the New York Times, tried his best to fight his most recent assignment but ultimately failed. As a result, he ended up in a 6:30 showing of Furry Vengeance (Rated ...
Movie Critic Uncomfortable Being Only Adult in Movie Theater

District 113’s 3rd Annual Publicity Stunt Turning Out to be Best One Yet

By George Minkowski In 2008, District 113 received a lot of media attention for teaching the Pulitzer Prize-winning drama “Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes.” In 2009, the administration was back in the news for their controversial decision ...
District 113’s 3rd Annual Publicity Stunt Turning Out to be Best One Yet

Witness: Lebron James Announces Solo Basketball Career

By Jeremy Hoodaman In a surprise press conference held yesterday, Lebron James announced his intentions to compete in the NBA as a one-man team. The news came amidst rumors that James would be joining other prominent teams such as the New ...
Witness: Lebron James Announces Solo Basketball Career

BP Executives Develop Plan to Save Oil, Maybe Animals

May - 31 - 2010

By George Minkowski

“Boom” went the oilrig 40 miles off the coast of Louisiana on April 20, 2010. “Uh-oh” went the United States Coast Guard two days after the explosion when they noticed crude oil leaking from the rig at a rate of 210,000 gallons per day. That number has been increasing in the wake of [...]

Movie Critic Uncomfortable Being Only Adult in Movie Theater

May - 31 - 2010

By Gunter Hausman

NEW YORK CITY— Roger Lumenick, film critic from the New York Times, tried his best to fight his most recent assignment but ultimately failed. As a result, he ended up in a 6:30 showing of Furry Vengeance (Rated PG) last Friday night. Lumenick was the only adult in the theater and was reportedly [...]

Class Discussion Dominated by Only Student to Read Book

May - 31 - 2010

Obligatory Lost Headline Brings Little Closure to Fans

May - 31 - 2010

Flipside’s Liberal Bias Obvious Following Decision to Print Unflattering Picture of Glenn Beck for No Reason

May - 31 - 2010

District 113’s 3rd Annual Publicity Stunt Turning Out to be Best One Yet

May - 21 - 2010

By George Minkowski
In 2008, District 113 received a lot of media attention for teaching the Pulitzer Prize-winning drama “Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes.” In 2009, the administration was back in the news for their controversial decision to suspend the entire senior class of swimmers on allegations of hazing during the team’s [...]

Witness: Lebron James Announces Solo Basketball Career

May - 21 - 2010

By Jeremy Hoodaman
In a surprise press conference held yesterday, Lebron James announced his intentions to compete in the NBA as a one-man team. The news came amidst rumors that James would be joining other prominent teams such as the New York Knicks, the Chicago Bulls, or some team in New Jersey that The Flipside keeps [...]

K-9 Unit Takes Bite Out of Crime, Terrorist’s Leg

May - 21 - 2010

94% of DHS Teachers Report “I’ll Miss the Seniors! Wait. Are They Gone? Finally.”

May - 21 - 2010

Prairie State Exam Reveals Majority of DHS Juniors Unprepared to Run Farm

May - 17 - 2010

By George Minkowski
DEERFIELD, IL— The Prairie State Achievement Test was designed to test students’ knowledge of science trivia, sign reading, and Illinois-related math skills. The test was implemented in 2005 to assess whether or not high school students were ready to graduate and face their future of working on a farm. Last week, DHS Juniors [...]